When it’s a guy complaining that he’s always in the friend zone and resents it, that’s when things begin to get dangerous. I’m talking about the bitterness that makes a guy forget to be human and respect another person, and instead will be a fake nice guy only to get laid.
Friendship has no expectations.
First and foremost, no-one should be chasing a person only for sex. If all you want is sex, then go to a brothel and pay for it. Want to know why this should be a rule? Because no-one owes you shit. A girl doesn’t have to say yes because you’re the nice guy who listens to her problems. Not every girl has to find you attractive. Just because you want them, doesn’t mean they have to feel obligated to want you back. Nope. It doesn’t work that way.
Men and women can be friends.
As long as they’re happy to be that. As long as one doesn’t think that they’ve been “laying the ground work” and is entitled to some action. As long as there are no expectations.
It annoys me when guys think that a no isn’t really a no and will keep pursuing a girl for what they want. Um, hello? Not every girl is interested in you. I’m not going to be grateful for some attention and settle just because you think I owe you access to my vagina.
Just because I’m not sexually attracted to you, doesn’t mean that I don’t like you and want to be friends. But that’s it. And that’s what drives some people crazy. There have been a few times when I’ve had to stop talking to some guys who I thought were nice and liked having conversations with them, because they wanted more. To their faces I would say, “I’m not sexually attracted to you, I’m not going to sleep with you, let’s just be friends.” How can you think there is any hope after all that?
And yet other guys, we flirt and talk, but there’s no spark there. We’re happy just being friends.
Why is it that some guys can be content with having a friend and others are still looking for a way to get a girl to lower her guard so he can make a move?
We’re people, not prey!
Of course, this goes the other way. Girls shouldn’t think a man owes them anything just because they’ve shown some skin. Not every guy wants to sleep with you. And guess what, the ones who say no are not all gay.
Sometimes, you have to let go of the expectation and just enjoy what you do have. If you have friend that you have fun with, enjoy that. Don’t go wishing for more from them. Respect them. Respect yourself, because if they’re sleeping with you because they’re lonely or think no-one else better is going to come along, that makes you someone’s second choice. You should be someone’s first choice.
The friend zone shouldn’t be blamed.
It is up to you to find people who make you happy, be them friends or a lover.