Anyhow, I have exciting news! I am the new newsletter editor for my writers group (cue small symphony). Just pile on the added stress of chasing writers for their stories, making sure that it all fits into the newsletter (I must be strict with word limits, I must, I must, I must!) and getting it all out on time. One problem; what if I get into the army? Have I taken responsibility for something that I won't be able to continue on with in a couple of months or six months time?
My YOU session (your opportunities unlimited session, I cringe at the name) is next week. That will determine everything. Aptitude test, discussion with a nurse, interview with careers counsellor. Somewhere in all that they could tell me "sorry but no we do not want you." Which would be good in one way; I can still be editor, don't have to teach mother how to use email and can stop listening to that ever so creepy voice in the beep test. And it will also be bad; no new challenge or adventure, no guns or tanks, no sense of pride... you get the picture. However I haven't been told "no" just yet so it could be a "yes please, sign here" to which I would have to take the following warning very seriously.
"Think carefully before you decide." And I have been thinking especially when a friend warned me that my writing will come under scrutiny and may even need approval before publishing.
Thinking really hard now and I'm not liking this. Not at all. I guess if I really want to join I will have to make some sacrifice of freedom, but my writing? Can they do that? Another friend told me not to fret so much, just explain in the interview that I am a writer and I publish my own work and that won't change and see what they say (get what they say in writing). But can they control that? Will I have to stop blogging? Or will everything have to be censured? I understand there may be some security risks if I put things up online, but I don't use real names, I try to avoid using locations and I really don't like trash talking other people. Maybe I am stressing too much. Maybe this won't be a problem.
The same friend who mentioned my writing also happened to say I would either dominate in the army or I will hate every second of it. The other friend (who has shivers when something feels right) says she can see me on peacekeeping missions, however, she also says if I don't get through to the next rounds of interviews then it wasn't meant to be.
I had just gotten my nerves under control and then POW! I'm no longer sure what to think. Then again, my feelings may not matter if I fail the aptitude test.