“Don’t slam the door. You’ll ruin the seals.” Jai grumped.
I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t slam it. I closed it firmly, any gentler and it wouldn’t be closed.”
He locked the doors and came round to my side. “Yes, I live here.”
“For how long?”
“Two months. I just moved out of a share house with mates to be on my own.”
“Why?” I leaned my back against the car. Was I possibly stalling? Maybe a little.
Jai shrugged. “Most of them had girlfriends who were always hanging around, one ended up moving away... it just felt like time to be on my own. Can we have this conversation inside?” He offered his hand.
“Or we can always freeze to death.” He sighed.
I stepped forward and slipped my fingers into his. “Give me the tour please.” And off we went, towards the concrete stairs, up onto the open air veranda with fluorescent lighting, and stopping in front of number 6A. Jai kept my hand captured in his, and fumbled with his other hand to get his key into the lock. I bit my lip. Was he holding on to me so as not to lose me? Or perhaps because he also couldn’t believe we were actually about to do this?
The door swung open. Jai reached in quickly and flicked on the lights before stepping back. “After you.”
I couldn’t really move forward. The dragon’s lair, I was about to step into his territory and see what he was really like. Was he messy? Unhygienic, perhaps? Or even worse, was Jai a clean freak? Okay, and the obvious reason for why I was hesitating; if I stepped inside could I say yes... or even no when we reached the bedroom? I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to make the decision just yet.
“We can just have a drink... nothing else if you don’t want.”
My head snapped up. I wasn’t imagining this, he too looked nervous. “Are you sure?”
“No, I mean are you sure you want to have sex... with me... tonight?” What was with me, pausing for dramatic pause as if this was some melo-drama? Ugh.
Jai blushed. “Do you want to have sex with me tonight?”
Oh God, we were not about to do that awkward dance around each other waiting for the answer we were both so afraid to admit out loud. No way. Even if it made things awkward I was going to be... blunt. “I’m not sure.”
Jai frowned. “Really?”
“Yeah. I mean it was different back at Ash’s, I think I was close to throwing you to the floor and doing it right there.”
“But, my hormones have settled and I’m not entirely sure anymore.”
Nodding Jai stepped forward, dragging on my hand. “We can still talk inside and with a cup of coffee or tea.”
“Tea would be nice,” taking a deep breath I stepped over the threshold. “Nice place.” And it was. The lounge room and kitchen were open planned facing opposite of each other, a hallway branched off down the middle with three closed doors at the end of the short distance. The carpet felt soft under my bare toes once I took my shoes off. None of that gritty feeling or fear of stepping on something sharp that I sometimes have at Ash’s. Things were tidy.
“Thanks, that’s another reason for moving out of a share house; I couldn’t stand the grot some days.” Jai moved into the kitchen and began to pull cups out.
“So you’re a clean freak?” I looked around a little closer at the lounge room. Huge television, a mass collection of video games and controllers all stacked neatly under it, a comfy looking leather lounge and matching recliner beside it. There were no pictures.
“Not a freak about it... I just like things clean.” Jai came over. “The only reason it is this nice at the moment is because I’ve only just moved in. Give me a couple of months and there will be junk... and I’ll not be able to stand it and...”
“You’re lying. You just need to admit that you are a clean freak.” I could smell him. He was all over this apartment, surrounding me. I liked it. And the main source of it was standing in front of me; a very tempting man with a cheeky smile in place.
“Okay, I am.”
Only half an hour ago we were pressed against each other and I had no issue with the thought of us sleeping together. Why did I become prudish? Maybe, all I need to do is... “Can I try something?”
I stepped forward. Instinctively, I guess, his hands lifted and hovered over my waist. The heat from his palms radiated against me. “Well, things were going great when we were kissing... maybe we could go back to that. And just see where that goes.” My hands came up and rested on his chest.
Jai stepped backwards. “Are you sure?”
With his heart under my palm and warmth around me I felt different.
It wasn’t like in the car where I had time to think and sit on my own with no touching and I could look out the window and... well, I was not sure if this was a good idea.
Now, while sober and with him; my heart was starting to race faster, my skin tingled in anticipation, and all I wanted was to lose myself in him. Clichéd yes, but the truth. I didn’t want to think, I just wanted to do.
“I’m sure,” I whispered. “I know that if I say no, you will stop.”
Jai nodded his head. “But I don’t want you to ever feel...”
“I won’t.” At least I hope I never regret anything that happens, if it happens, after this one kiss. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his.