Now, this could be a bad thing.
I know, miscommunication is always a bad thing, however, bear with.
Interpretations must be considered holistically with the rest of life. I was feeling very frustrated with the way certain groups were not providing the room to grow and certain people who were treating me more and more like a minion. I am not a minion! I will have total world domination... now back to the topic. I have deduced that my inability to shake these illnesses along with my feeling of restriction around certain groups and people is actually a sign of growth.
I can no longer communicate freely these people without either offending them with my feelings or by forcing myself to be stuck at that level and hiding my feelings. So I have decided to reduce my involvement with the organisation and the associated people. I just haven’t explained that to the president of the group.
How can you say, “I’m not coming back because I’ve grown up” to someone you once considered a friend? That is plain mean.
It feels funny. Even though my throat is aching like someone has clawed at it, I feel rather grounded and with direction. I look around and I see static people. Are they stuck in a rut or is it just my perception of them? Will they be the same people, living the same lives in years to come? Am I going to be like them or do others look at me and see me as static, unable to change and grow?
Fuck it. I know I am changing and growing, should I care if someone out there doesn’t see it like that? No. I can control my own reactions and perceptions, not others, so fuck it. I am a stoic philosopher.