The worse things are the little funnies I can never say, the unsaid jokes that run through my head will never be sent off in a text or make him laugh. The questions I have about the army will only ever be directed to others. We will never kiss again.
This feels so strange. After awhile I had placed him aside in my mind as a friend I messaged but didn't see, ANZAC day I mistakenly thought it would be different and so was pissed off when it wasn't. But it is not my fault. He has chosen not to follow through with his "I'll text you in the morn when I'm sober".
Maybe I am a little to upfront about what I want. Perhaps that is what pushes men away from me.
However, silence is just as annoying, alienating and aggravating.