Intimacy

There's a gap
a hollow in my bed
where once we overlapped.
But now I dread
when next it will be filled
the next man
who makes my heart still,
maybe he will be a fan
maybe I can get him to stay
maybe he won't be just an easy lay.

This craving is strange. I desire intimacy with another human being (not sex necessarily), I am starved of affection, snuggling, counting his heart beat as I lay me ear to his chest, listening to his voice rumble as he murmurs a story, feel his hands trace imaginary patterns on my skin.

All of that, I want it. I need it.

But I'm afraid to accept from the next to offer.

I wish my fairy tale would hurry up and happen and the man, be him prince, baker or wolf, he would be there in my life. No more searching. No more duds. I want to start living happily ever after. I want him to kiss me awake.

Then again this is reality and each guy is a frog who likes to try and shove his tongue down my throat.

I want a relationship, but only with the right man. This time I will not settle.

And the cravings? Well, I wish I didn't know what it was like then I wouldn't be wanting. I can't take care of this on my own like other itches, which means I must endure until I can be held again with affection, trust and hope.