Originally, I was planning on participating. I had plotted some ideas and written notes.
Leading up to the end of October, I wasn't feeling the excitement. If it hadn't been written on my calendar then I wouldn't have remembered it. So I had planned to skip this year.
Then I sat in front of my computer and started writing. But not for the characters that I had hoped to write about. No, oh no, I went a little naughty and started writing something very different to what is normal. The words poured out. When I read back what I had written, I cringed. It was terrible and absolutely soul bearing. Yet it was cathartic.
In a way it is a confession of sorts.
One that will never be read!
I might not even make it to fifty thousand words (if I did then I have more issues than I thought and need to seek professional help) and that doesn't matter to me. I am going to write until I have every last problem from the year (or years) out. Maybe I will be a little more stable after this. Who knows. It will be the first time I will be using this month for something that has no intention of being seen by the public. So off to write and sort through crap and hopefully not crack... hopefully.