If I hadn’t already paid for this term, I would probably quietly disappear from the class and that would be it. But I have paid. And now I have to drag my ass to the Community College every Tuesday evening and just do it.
I’ve been going to class on and off, mostly on, for about two years now.
I need a change.
Problem, other than the fact I have paid for it, my hamstrings will hate me for not going back to it next term as they contract back to their original starting point. So I can’t give it up completely, I’ll have to do some at home. Which is good. Never do any exercising without first warming up and stretching and at the end cooling down and stretching, or you could do some serious damage and be out of the game for a while as you heal. Not fun.
It’s just the class and I’m not feeling it anymore. I feel more like I’m going through the motions and not getting the full benefit of the exercise. I don’t have the same drive to push myself and participate whole heartedly with turning my body inside out. I don’t want to close my eyes for twenty minutes for relaxation at the end of the class, in fact, I want to pack up after the breathing and go home. I don’t feel like I’m being engaged.
There was a time when yoga class calmed my nerves and made me slow down. Once upon a time, I even found my centre.
Where the fuck did that go?
I just have to keep showing up because they don’t do refunds. Next term, I might be different, though I think I’ll make my excuse to the teacher and not return.
I know this has some great health benefits and I need to be doing more physical and spiritual and stuff, but jeez, I need a break and to be able to give something else a try.